Last week a friend told me that their son hadn’t been picked for his favoured university but had been offered a place at another very reputable university. He was naturally extremely upset but was still waiting to hear from his other choices before making a decision, all the time becoming very impatient and grumpy.
When my friend told me this story I said I was very relieved I wasn’t that age again, he asked why and I told him that I remember being in my teens and to wait for anything seemed like a lifetime, particularly when anything concerned the future. At that age you think you have it all mapped out and know exactly the road you want to take, not to mention you think you really do know it all.
With age, comes wisdom and as we grow older we realise that we were meant to take some different paths to the ones we had planned when we were younger. Certain events take over, for example, not being selected for our chosen university, so another one is selected and attended, which might lead us to get take different subjects and our dream job, or to meet the love of our life.
There are many things in our lives that don’t go according to our plans and on occasions we become stressed and upset when we are forced to take a different path and change our plans. It seems that when we cannot control an event or outcome we become uncomfortable and fearful for the unknown especially if we already had things mapped out in our minds. It is very hard to let go and to trust that whatever happens will be the right choice for us even if a certain situation is out of our hands.
As I have matured, I take a more laid back approach to life and believe that if something doesn’t go according to plan then there is a reason for that even if I can’t see it at the time. For example, there is the house that you really want, that moment when you go and see the house and fall in love with it and you decide right there and then that you want it and make an offer. Later down the line there is a problem and the sale falls through, you’re devastated and upset because you think you’ll never find another house like it again. Then, usually just a few weeks or months later an even better house comes along and the sale process runs smoothly and you move into your dream home. If when the sale process fell through someone said to you “don’t worry an even better one will come along” you wouldn’t have believed it at the time but I am sure there are many of my readers who have experienced this.
Sometimes things aren’t meant to be, because the powers that be have better things lined up for us, we just have to trust and believe that. I know it’s easier said than done, especially when your teenage son is distraught because he didn’t get into his chosen university but ask him in five years time after he has attended an alternative I bet he wouldn’t have changed a thing.
I think it is the fear of the unknown that can sometimes make us cling on to certain ideas and ideals of how life should be. If we have the courage to let go, to embrace and trust what life has in store for us I think we could avoid a lot of stress and upset in our lives just by going with the flow, learning to let go a bit more and not trying to control everything.
It’s good to have dreams, ideas and a clear path of where we are going but if we have to take a different turn here and there it can bring us new opportunities that we might not have even dreamt or thought possible.
I would love to hear your stories of times when you had to change your plans and something better came along.
“Don’t let what you can’t control end up controlling you”.- John D Lemme