Monthly Archives: January 2015

New Paths Lead to Different Adventures

26 Monday Jan 2015

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Journeys
Last week a friend told me that their son hadn’t been picked for his favoured university but had been offered a place at another very reputable university. He was naturally extremely upset but was still waiting to hear from his other choices before making a decision, all the time becoming very impatient and grumpy.

When my friend told me this story I said I was very relieved I wasn’t that age again, he asked why and I told him that I remember being in my teens and to wait for anything seemed like a lifetime, particularly when anything concerned the future. At that age you think you have it all mapped out and know exactly the road you want to take, not to mention you think you really do know it all.

With age, comes wisdom and as we grow older we realise that we were meant to take some different paths to the ones we had planned when we were younger. Certain events take over, for example, not being selected for our chosen university, so another one is selected and attended, which might lead us to get take different subjects and our dream job, or to meet the love of our life.

There are many things in our lives that don’t go according to our plans and on occasions we become stressed and upset when we are forced to take a different path and change our plans. It seems that when we cannot control an event or outcome we become uncomfortable and fearful for the unknown especially if we already had things mapped out in our minds.   It is very hard to let go and to trust that whatever happens will be the right choice for us even if a certain situation is out of our hands.

As I have matured, I take a more laid back approach to life and believe that if something doesn’t go according to plan then there is a reason for that even if I can’t see it at the time. For example, there is the house that you really want, that moment when you go and see the house and fall in love with it and you decide right there and then that you want it and make an offer. Later down the line there is a problem and the sale falls through, you’re devastated and upset because you think you’ll never find another house like it again. Then, usually just a few weeks or months later an even better house comes along and the sale process runs smoothly and you move into your dream home.   If when the sale process fell through someone said to you “don’t worry an even better one will come along” you wouldn’t have believed it at the time but I am sure there are many of my readers who have experienced this.

Sometimes things aren’t meant to be, because the powers that be have better things lined up for us, we just have to trust and believe that. I know it’s easier said than done, especially when your teenage son is distraught because he didn’t get into his chosen university but ask him in five years time after he has attended an alternative I bet he wouldn’t have changed a thing.

I think it is the fear of the unknown that can sometimes make us cling on to certain ideas and ideals of how life should be. If we have the courage to let go, to embrace and trust what life has in store for us I think we could avoid a lot of stress and upset in our lives just by going with the flow, learning to let go a bit more and not trying to control everything.

It’s good to have dreams, ideas and a clear path of where we are going but if we have to take a different turn here and there it can bring us new opportunities that we might not have even dreamt or thought possible.

I would love to hear your stories of times when you had to change your plans and something better came along.

“Don’t let what you can’t control end up controlling you”.- John D Lemme

Wishing my wonderful readers a week full of love happiness and remember the angels are guiding us.
  

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Blue Sky Thinking

19 Monday Jan 2015

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Blue Sky

During my commute into London last week I overheard a conversation where one person complained about the winter and how they were tired of six months of grey skies, the cold and the rain. I looked out of the window and up to the grey sky and smiled knowing that above those grey skies the sun is shining and there is blue sky.

Anyone who has taken a flight somewhere is familiar with the feeling of take off and the plane ascending up through the clouds, that wonderful feeling when the plane breaks through the clouds and there, all around us, lies the expanse of blue sky. That moment gives me a wonderful sense of serenity.   So even when we are experiencing days or weeks of grey skies, it is quite easy to visualise the blue sky above the low clouds, this visualisation never fails to lift my spirits.

For some, January can be a time of feeling blue and down after the busyness of the festive season and struggle even more with the cold weather and the grey skies. I believe that getting out in nature or just taking a walk definitely lifts our mood. Some of my regular readers know that I have a dog, so I go out twice a day to walk him. Work colleagues sometimes ask me “What do you do if it’s raining?” I always laugh at that question. Anyone with animals will know that come wind, rain or shine we go out, animals, like children, need their routine and need to go out, they don’t care what the weather is doing.

I really enjoy my morning walks before work, yes, even in the depths of winter when it is still dark outside. Every morning is different and some mornings I might be out walking with the moon still in the sky and the sky lighter over towards the east where I know the sun will rise. The walk sets me up for the day as I look around me and think how wonderful nature and the planet is.

The days are now getting longer, admittedly only by one or two minutes at the end of each day but already I’m hearing the song of the blackbird, they are now up before I am, a few weeks ago I was up before they were.  It is proof that a gradual change is taking place.  There is nothing so beautiful as walking at dawn with birdsong as your music at this time of the year. I also know that soon the migratory birds will join the morning concert and will wake us up beautifully with their dawn chorus. I’ve also noticed small shoots of bluebells and daffodils starting to appear and if I look closely enough small shoots are also beginning to appear on the trees. It is a sign that spring is on its way with the promise of new life and change.

The world is truly amazing if we take the time to stop, slow down and look around us. It really isn’t the grey world I sometimes hear people describing.  If by any chance, you are suffering from the January blues I would highly recommend getting out in nature if you can or just going for a walk, look up, look around and listen. I guarantee your mood will be lifted and remember above those grey skies there is blue sky and the sun is shining. I would be really interested to hear from you if you suffer from the January blues and how you deal with them.

Wishing all my readers a happy and love filled week and thank you for reading.

The Power of Love

12 Monday Jan 2015

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LOVE BLOG

Last week I went to see the Theory of Everything, the film about Stephen Hawking, and whilst it can’t be described as a feel good movie, it was a story about love,sheer determination and dedication.

On discovering Stephen’s diagnosis and prognosis, his girlfriend Jane who became his first wife tells him that she loves him and will not just go away as he demands her to do. The sheer determination in her face and voice was so powerful. At this point in the film I smiled to myself as I thought about how forcible the emotion love is. With love we believe that anything is possible. We can take on the world.

As we know there are many different types of love, there are the interpersonal relationships we have with our family, children and close friends. The love we have for our children is usually described as an unconditional love, then we have romantic love for our partners, one which is usually based on passion and falling in love, although it is said that this stage of love doesn’t last but later develops into attachment and familiarity of a different kind which is lasting. We also have love of our pets and some people have love of inanimate objects such as cars and houses.   There is the love of books, music and places all the things we enjoy. The list of things we can and do love is endless.

When I decided to start my Blog it was designed to be a happy and positive place to visit, it is about love and happiness but I don’t think anyone can ignore what is going on in the world at the current time and I can’t help thinking that in these turbulent times how the hatred is breeding more hatred. I wonder if everyone just took a step back and how different the world might if we all loved our neighbour and spread love rather than hatred.

I know it isn’t as simple as that, but when I was in my twenties I worked for Thomson Holidays which offered employees excellent training and one aspect of the course was dealing with difficult customers and their complaints. I always remember this because we were shown a video featuring John Cleese it was called “Behaviour Breeds Behaviour” and it showed an angry couple complaining about something and in true John Cleese fashion he also got angry back. As you can imagine, this did nothing to diffuse the situation, in fact it made it worse. We were then shown a second version where another actress listened to the angry couple and kept a very calm manner, this then calmed down the angry couple and a solution was then found.

Remarkably following the three days of violence in Paris last week, the world united and came together yesterday to march against violence and racism, with over 40 world leaders joining forces. Marches also took place in other French and European cities and around the world. The marches were quiet, peaceful and respectful. There is still a lot of love in the world and it is reassuring how everyone has pulled together during these violent times.

I don’t usually quote from the Bible as I want my Blog to be unbiased and reached by as many readers as possible but I found this very interesting and I think it really does sum up love rather nicely.

From the New Testament, 1st Corinthians, Chapter 13, Verses 4-7:

  1. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
  2. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
  3. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
  4. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Remember, love is free, it cannot be controlled or bought, it really is a gift so let’s use it and be kind to all we come into contact with. Everyone deserves some love in their lives.

I would love to hear from you if you have seen the film or if you have any comments about love or any of the above.

Let’s all make a conscious effort to try and spread some love and happiness, especially during these turbulent and unsettled times.

 

 

Do you listen to your intuition and gut instinct?

05 Monday Jan 2015

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For the last few weeks my gut instinct has been trying very hard to communicate with me about a decision I needed to make but I chose to ignore it and kept telling myself I was being stupid and everything would be okay. I tried to rationalise my way of thinking with positive thoughts and visualisation all in an attempt to overcome the fear that was presenting itself to me but it didn’t matter how much logic I gave to the situation the outcome was still the same.

So rather than it just being a “feeling” in the early stages, I then started to feel sick to the pit of my stomach and felt nervous in almost everything I was doing, my energy levels dipped and I began to lie awake worrying. Not many things interfere with my sleep so I knew that I could no longer ignore the signals that my body was now trying to communicate loudly to me. I had to address what was causing me to feel so uncomfortable and to make a very difficult decision, but how to do this.

I sat quietly, and imagined two scenarios, one with the current situation that was causing me to become so nervous and one without. I tried to see if I could work through the current situation and thought of the many ways I could do this with all the support around me, but I still didn’t feel it was the right choice for me and still felt uneasy. I then tried the scenario with the situation removed and I immediately felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders it was then that I knew what my decision had to be.

It was not an easy decision to make and didn’t just involve me and that’s why it took me so long to really listen to my gut instinct, even though my gut instinct has never failed me before.   However once my decision had been made I felt so much better, so again my gut/intuition was giving me feedback that I was doing the right thing and had made the right choice.

Sometimes there is absolutely no logic to gut instinct, we can’t put a reason to it but we just have a feeling in the pit of our stomach. That is why we usually prefer to believe our decisions are made by our brain and logic. However, rather interestingly the enteric nervous system lies in our intestines with hundreds of millions of neurons, these neurons communicate with the brain. The clearest connection between the gut and mind is how we experience anxiety and stress. A gut instinct is when we have a reaction to a situation that we aren’t entirely happy with or are uncomfortable with.  I was becoming more and more stressed by my situation.

Also you may have heard the saying “in my heart of hearts” again, the heart has its own independent nervous system which connects to the brain. Sometimes we just know, how many times have you heard happily married couples say they “just knew” that their partner was the right one. If you ask them how they knew they will not be able to give a reason other than they just knew.

Not everyone is tuned into their intuition or are familiar with listening to what their bodies are trying to communicate but next time you are struggling with something whether it’s a difficult situation or decision to be made, sit somewhere quietly, take your time and imagine both scenarios, be aware of how your body feels at each outcome. The scenario that gives you quiet and calm is more than likely to be the right decision for you.

I would love to hear from you if you have experienced something similar, for example when you met the love of your life, or had a difficult decision to make.

Wishing my lovely readers a happy and love filled week.