A friend recently shared a post about 11 ways to live a happier life (by Carrie Brooks – Life Coach) and she mentioned she had difficulty with No 11. Now what was Number 11 and what could possibly be so difficult for this wonderful confident friend of mine? Number 11 was:

To look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself “I Love You”.

I think that my friend is not alone and I believe that this is something we all struggle with at various stages during our life. Let’s take a brief look at some of the lyrics of a song written by Michael Masser & Linda Creed, recorded by George Benson in 1977 and later sang by Whitney Houston in 1986 – The Greatest Love of All:-

Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

So what does this mean exactly? Research says that if we don’t love or like ourselves how can we expect someone else to.

During a four years course to become a homeopath I discovered Louise Hay who is a great advocate of loving and healing yourself; she says that when we really love ourselves everything in our life works.

My take on loving yourself is, if we like and love who we are, then chances are we’ll be comfortable in our own skin. We will be confident, and in turn, that will exuberate and attract like-minded people to us and we will become a magnet. Life will be full of happiness, and we will believe that our dreams can come true. It is about being in touch with who we really are and most definitely not about being selfish or narcissistic.

Deepak Chopra mentions in his book “The Path to Love” that he has met many people waiting for “the one” to show up. The advice he gives is to BE “the one” for YOU. Like attracts like and the more we live our ideal of love, the more our light will draw another light to us.

So how can we love ourselves more? I think it helps to connect with nature and all things beautiful, doing things we enjoy doing, whether that is playing with our children, walking the dog, meeting with friends, spending time with family, taking time out for ourselves or reading a book, generally just being kind to ourselves.

So, if like most of us, you have difficulty with loving yourself, try this for two weeks and I bet you’ll be astonished at the results.

Each morning or evening, look in the mirror and while looking at your reflection say to yourself “I love you”. Remember, be kind and try not to criticize yourself. Think of all the positive things you are going to do or have done during the day.

Examples are:-

• You are beautiful
• I appreciate you
• You deserve a fantastic day

I would love to hear from you and if you have difficulty with “Number 11” and how you feel when you look in the mirror? Do you love yourself?

Loving yourself… does not mean being self-absorbed or narcissistic, or disregarding others. Rather it means welcoming yourself as the most honored guest in your own heart, a guest worthy of respect, a lovable companion.” – Margo Anand.

“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.”  ― Steve Maraboli.

Wishing all my lovely readers a perfect week full of happiness and self love.

Following on hot on the heels of last week’s Blog regarding friends I wanted to pose the question “to FB or not to FB”.

Recently a friend shared a FB post about social media titled “less technology, more hugs”. I clicked on the link to find a guy rapping about how social media is affecting everyone and how we would rather stare at our phones than talk, or skype rather than get together. He went on to say that we are so consumed by our phones and social network that we forget how to live.

Maybe you also saw it, I briefly shared it on my FB page with a comment that I was no longer going to post. This resolution didn’t even last an hour. Why? If I’m honest I don’t entirely agree. The video was thought provoking, after all I was still thinking about it a few hours later, but I actually do like using FB. It has made it possible for me to reconnect with old friends, which with our busy lives might have been difficult to do. More importantly, I am able to keep in touch with all my overseas friends and family. We are closer as a result. It means that when we do meet up, we don’t have to spend ages catching up on each other’s news but can immediately engage in conversation as we know what has been happening in each other’s lives.

I want to see pictures of friend’s children and the progress they are making, their first day at primary or secondary school and all their achievements. I enjoy seeing the happiness on my grandmother’s face when I show her photos, posted by my cousin who is based in the Philippines of her great great grandchildren. It is an absolute joy to watch.

It’s a great way to share with friends, although I do draw the line at pictures of food or pointless comments, but if something amazing is happening that I want to share what better way to reach out to all of my friends. It means you’re not just sharing with your best friends but all of your friends, building even closer relationships.

Recently an old work colleague of mine got married, before Facebook I wouldn’t have seen the wedding photos, in fact I wasn’t even in touch with her until recently, but she was able to share her special day with her old acquaintances and faraway friends. So whilst we weren’t there in person we shared in her happiness. I think this is amazing.

Another advantage is it can be a powerful tool for informing people of worthwhile causes or events. It is a great way of spreading the word. For example, Stephen Sutton, who on finding out his disease was incurable, made a FB page called “Stephen’s Story”, sadly he died in May 2014, but he raised awareness and money for the Teenage Cancer Trust and at the time of writing the fund has reached £4,394,996 and this is still rising.

For me, FB will never be a substitute for meeting or catching up in person but it’s a great way to bridge the gap especially allowing us to keep in touch with far flung friends. I have also been reunited with people that I had lost touch with, by circumstances not by choice.

I would love to hear from you as to what you use FB for or whether you have been reunited with any long lost family or friends.

 Wishing all my readers and wonderful week of love and happiness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last weekend I visited a very dear friend of mine in Belgium who at the weekend also introduced me to another friend. We all got on amazingly well, helped by the fact that we share a common interest – a love of horses and animals.

Returning on Eurostar, with plenty of time to reflect and give some thought to what I would write about in this week’s Blog, I decided to dedicate it to friends and how important they are to our happiness and well being.

Research shows that people with good friends are generally much happier, although some natural loners are happy to be without friends, most of us depend greatly on the company of our true friends.

With any relationship, friendships bring support and joy although they can at times be difficult, but that is what being good friends is all about.

As small children we have the capacity to make friends very easily, we have no prejudices, we see someone our size and engage in conversation, regardless of background, colour or religion. We only have to look at young children in a playground or on a beach to see this in action. I met one of my best friends at the age of 4 and I am pleased to say we are still very close and see each other regularly.

When we approach our teenage years, we become a little bit more self conscious and perhaps a little bit more choosy on who our friends will be, for example, do they like the same things we do, do they dress the same, do they belong in our social circle.

We then go out to work and are thrown together with people, who if it weren’t for work, we might not ordinarily have come into contact with. Again great friendships are forged in the workplace, which isn’t surprising as this is where we spend most of our working lives. I have met many of my close friends through work and have kept in touch with them even when we have both moved on.

Then of course there are the friends we meet through one’s hobbies, further education, through friends of friends and holidays. I have also made some very good friends whilst walking my dog and more recently even catching the train to work. Exes can also remain friends and I believe a few of mine are even followers of my Blog.

So what makes a friendship and good friend?   For me, it’s sharing things, having something in common, laughing and sometimes even crying together, someone who is there in our times of need and vice versa.   They do not judge and are good fun and company. Sometimes we don’t see a friend for a long time but when we get together again it’s like we only saw each other yesterday, to me that is a true friend. I can’t imagine life without my wonderful friends and I’m happy they are in my life.

Anais Nin put it beautifully when she said  “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

I would be really interested to know what a good friendship and friend is to you?

Good friends are like stars,
we don’t always see them but we know they are there.

Wishing all my wonderful readers and friends
a week filled with love and happiness.