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Monthly Archives: October 2015

Removing Self-Limiting Beliefs

26 Monday Oct 2015

Posted by Tracey Marie in Weekly Blog

≈ 4 Comments

anything possible

This week I’m celebrating because yesterday was a very special day for me. Baby Bee, as I like to call him, and I entered a dressage competition with our local riding club, Limpsfield Riding Club. A club I joined at the beginning of the year and which has been nothing but friendly and encouraging in every way possible.

Before joining the club I didn’t think dressage was for me. I had a limiting self-belief that I wasn’t good enough even though, I learnt to ride at ten years old and have owned my other horse, Nadia for 19 years. However, when I learnt to ride at my local riding school we only learnt how to go, steer and more importantly how to stop, we didn’t learn the finer and more intricate details of riding but it never stopped us having fun and as kids we used to ride backwards, bareback and would jump anything. We were absolutely fearless.

So when I was lucky enough to get Nadia we were just happy riding out in the woods and exploring local bridleways and taking part in the occasional endurance and pleasure ride we never entered any competitions.  I thought to “do” dressage or enter competitions you had to have had a special instructor and know more than I did. This was a very limiting self-belief that I probably developed from the time when my friends and I worked at a local riding school just to get a free ride and we saw other children with their own ponies entering competitions.

However Bee, my new horse is young and as feedback on our training and to help with our progress I decided to enter some dressage competitions during the spring and summer time. Sometimes our results weren’t great and we were even beaten by an 8 year old, other times I went wrong however with continuous encouragement from the riding club and regular lessons from my trainer we gradually improved. On a few occasions we were even placed, but the 1st, 2nd and 3rd places seemed to elude us, that was until yesterday when we came first with a score of 66.74%. My goal is always to try and beat our personal best and that was 62%, so you can imagine how pleased I was when the scores came in.

Then to top it all, I had also entered us into a test in the next level up at the prelim level as I wanted to start to push and improve ourselves, raising the bar, it was to be an exercise and I was looking forward to receiving the judge’s comments. The comments I have received from the judges over the past few months have helped me improve and together with my trainer it looks like it is now finally paying off. Imagine my surprise when in the next level up we were placed 4th with a result of 65%. This was a huge achievement for us, on a horse that I haven’t even yet had for a year. I love to learn and improve and dressage is a perfect way to do this, it is a constant learning curve and there are always new challenges to face, but that’s what keeps it fun.  Regular readers will recall our shaky start, but with hard work, time and dedication our partnership has gone from strength to strength and yesterday demonstrated how far we’d come and I am extremely proud of Bee and his progress.

I have always believed that anyone can do anything that they put their minds to, especially if it’s something that they really want to do. It’s possible to learn new things and take on new challenges, whether it’s learning to dance, learning a new language – I always remember my Dad learning Portuguese at the age of 65, taking up a new hobby or even changing careers, it really is never too late that is of course provided you want something enough. Nothing is out of our reach.

The key of course is to remove any self-limiting beliefs we may have. Self-limiting beliefs are those that constrain us in some way and seriously hold us back in life, they are usually based on fear of failure or past experiences. I know mine were based on “I can’t” and “I’m not good enough”. Well I proved to myself I actually can and I am sure you can also do anything you really want to do.

I have always believed that anything can happen and anything is possible in life, with sheer hard work and determination but I would say the best quality to have is sheer enthusiasm.   Enthusiasm is something we can have fun with it keeps us happy, it gives us energy and keeps us passionate about the things we enjoy doing.

I would love to hear from you if you have ever tried something new and was surprised at your achievement or if you are thinking of starting something new or if you also have any self-limiting beliefs that might be holding you back. My advice would be release your self-limiting beliefs and don’t let anything stop you or stand in your way, especially if it will enhance your happiness.  Be enthusiastic and go for it.

“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to questions them.” ~Anthony de Mello

Wishing everyone a week full of love, happiness, success and discovery.

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Turn your life into a magical musical

12 Monday Oct 2015

Posted by Tracey Marie in Weekly Blog

≈ 4 Comments

singing

This week’s Blog is dedicated to a very special friend who has shared with me some of the stories I mention below.

I recently saw a quote that said “If you can’t handle me randomly blurting out song lyrics that relate to what you just said we can’t be friends”. This really did make me laugh as it is very true and something I do on a regular basis.

I am not a good singer, I am completely tone deaf and can’t hold a note to save my life but I love to sing and dance, it makes me feel happy and lifts my spirits. I usually find that whatever I am doing I will find a suitable tune that matches my environment or my mood. Luckily most of my friends are used to this and do not mind and will invariably join in (that is assuming they can recognise the tune I’m trying to sing).

There are also health benefits from singing and research has shown that our bodies release endorphins when we sing.   Singing requires us to breathe more deeply and in turn this oxygenates our brain and by breathing deeply it can produce a calming effect which helps us especially if we find ourselves in a stressful situation.

Singing evokes memories and when I sing, I find myself smiling as I recall memories, happy or sad. Regular readers will know that I enjoy music and believe that music is the language of the world, it breaks down barriers and connects us to each other. Music and lyrics raises our energy and make us feel alive.

Most days I will have a song of the day, inspired by something I may hear on the radio or will look at the sky whilst walking my dog and think of a time place or tune and that song will usually stay with me during the day. A game I sometimes play is choosing a song, usually based on the weather, or where I am and finding something to suit, for example whilst camping out under the stars in the Wadi Rum desert I couldn’t resist singing every song possible about stars.   Amazingly my friend and I still laugh and share fond memories about this almost ten years later and at the time we couldn’t sleep for laughing.

On another occasion we were travelling on a long flight and was tracking our flight route and just starting taking turns to sing a song about all the places named on the map and rather remarkably we managed it. Again, I still recall my friend breaking out to the song “Do you know the way to San Jose”, so from our silly game we have very fond memories and whenever I hear that song it reminds me of our trip together.

The other day I was singing to my song of the day and decided to also dance, but I didn’t want to see myself in the mirror (because the saying goes dance like nobody is watching) so I turned the lights out and decided to dance in the dark. Incidentally, I was not listening to “dancing in the dark” by Bruce Springsteen and I should say try because believe it or not it really is quite difficult to dance in complete darkness, mainly because if you spin it isn’t possible to focus on one particular point and you can become unbalanced very quickly. I am sure professional dancers can dance in the dark and like everything, with practice I am sure it is possible so I think some more practice might be required.

I sometimes wish everyone walking across London Bridge would break their morning ritual of looking at their phones and take  time to look up and see the beautiful world we live in, maybe sing, or even better, imagine if we all sang and danced across the bridge, I am sure everyone would feel quite exhilarated once they had overcome their shyness. Maybe one day I might ask some of my friends in the music and acting business to see if they could try and instigate it.

I really do believe that life really is a much richer and happier place with music, song and dance. I would love to hear from you if you enjoy singing and if you regularly pick a tune of the day or what song brings back special memories for you and your friends.

Wishing everyone a wonderful happy week full of song and dance.  Make your life a musical.

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Divine Mirrors

05 Monday Oct 2015

Posted by Tracey Marie in Weekly Blog

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Smile and the whole world smiles with you, Turning our thoughts around

horse miror

In last week’s Blog I mentioned that life is like a mirror and what we put out there we attract, this is particularly true with horses and this picture sums up that relationship beautifully. However I don’t think this just applies to horses. I think it is also true of human behaviour and last week I mentioned how behaviour breeds behaviour.

If we are happy this can be infectious and our happiness radiates and shines outwards. Equally if we are around someone who is moody this can also affect us and we can soon absorb negativity if we let it in and allow it. It really is that simple.  You may recall that last week I was not looking forward to Monday at all.

Anyway, back to the picture. My regular readers will recall the difficulties I experienced when I first bought my young horse, Bee, at the end of last year. I fell off him very early in our time together and lost my confidence. As a result he lost confidence in me, and being a young horse he needed to be shown the way, he needed a leader. We became edgy and nervous around each other, so much so that I even considered selling him. I started to compare him with my older horse that I had owned for 18 years, I forgot the blood sweat and tears that I experienced with her at the start of our relationship and time together.

My young horse was the sweetest and gentlest horse with perfect manners he just needed a leader and I was not it. I am not one to give up so easily and will usually try to find a way forward but it was not happening with this horse, but something in his eyes and his eagerness to please me didn’t allow me to give up. He hadn’t even done anything wrong we just got off to a shaky start. Luckily I didn’t sell him and together with lots of support from my trainer and friends, we overcame our difficulties and I am pleased to say I can’t imagine life without him. He now trusts me 100% and if I ask or invite him to do something, he trusts it is safe to do so. I am now his leader.

I believe people and animals come into our lives to teach us lessons we need to learn. I’m so grateful to him for teaching me to work at something even through the difficult times, there is always light at the end of the tunnel and once we reach it, it is always brighter than we ever imagined. Bee was never going to be like my 26 year old horse and he stood up for himself, he taught me that we had our own journey to forge.

Last week, I realized that the lesson I learnt could also be applied to my new boss and just like Bee with time and patience, we could hopefully find a way of working together. We are all different and some things can’t be achieved overnight but there is always the promise and reward that when it happens the light is bright.

To prove a point, I decided to wear a smile all week, I noticed people smiling at me on the train home – I counted five people one evening which is quite a feat considering the majority of people stare at their phones for most of their journey.

Equally, I was determined to turn the work situation around.  I chose not to react to any negativity and decided to remain positive under all circumstances, nothing was going to penetrate my happiness or get under my skin.  I chose to keep smiling.   By the end of the week, rather miraculously, my boss was thanking me for my work and effort and even said I was amazing.

I wondered what had changed and I recall seeing this photo with the horse and it reminded me of the struggles I’d had with Bee at the start of our time together and  realized that this applies to all relationships and situations in our lives. I have always been a firm believer that behaviour breeds behaviour. If someone is grumpy with us as a rule we will be grumpy back, if someone smiles at us we smile back, not to mention time and patience.

So it’s worth remembering that what we put out there comes back tenfold and if anyone is really struggling with something or someone in their life at the moment, try a different tactic with a new approach, you might be surprised at how quickly you can turn a situation around.  I know I was.

I would love to hear from you and how you turned a negative situation around and the results you achieved.

Wishing all my lovely readers a week full of love and happiness.

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