Tag Archives: Let It Go

Feeling Energised and Motivated

30 Monday May 2016

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So this is my final week at my current job, the job that I have done for the last 10 years and I’ve been asked how I feel and whether I will feel sad about leaving. The answer is rather sadly that no I won’t. The feelings that I am experiencing are much more positive and I am  feeling energized, excited and motivated about the future.  There are new roads to be made and new adventures to be had.

It has taken me almost a year to come to this decision and it isn’t one that I reached lightly. However I knew that I wasn’t happy and my job was draining me of any zest for life.  I had a new boss and I guess we didn’t get on.   This then in turn had an impact on other areas in my life and I had no real enthusiasm for all the things I enjoy such as writing, catching up with friends, homeopathy and doing things that are important to me.  Luckily my horses kept me sane and gave me a purpose.

I tried to make things work for a while, but I was met with negativity so I soon realized that action was needed.  I did some core value exercises on myself and the main things that came out in almost all areas of my life were, friendship, happiness, flexibility and achievement. It was glaringly obvious to me that in my work life I was not achieving 3 out of 4 and this was also spilling out into my personal life. I had lost my equilibrium, which for a Libran is the Holy Grail. We don’t operate very well when our scales are unbalanced.

So what to do? I toyed with many ideas, the most drastic one was moving down to the New Forest and starting again. I just felt I had to get off the treadmill that I had found myself on. I was amazed to discover that the reason I was going to make such a drastic change was to escape the job I was so unhappy with even though in a new place I would still have to find a new one and make new friends and not only find a new home for myself but for my horses.

I hadn’t anticipated how powerful my brainstorming session would be and it was the beginning of positive change, I was of course doing Reiki on myself which is a great catalyst for getting things moving and becoming unstuck in situations.

I realized I like helping people and I was also a qualified homeopath and have been practicing on friends, family and my animals for the last 10 years. I decided to take control of my life and handed in my notice. At the same time, I also reconnected with an old acquaintance who is a CEO of a charity (http://www.raft.ac.uk) and she said she might have something for me. I went to meet with her and one of the directors and I am now really excited to report I will be joining them in July. I will write more once I have officially started with them as I am still employed by my current employer. However, I am so happy that I will be working for such a good cause that makes a huge difference to people’s lives.

So the burning question is why I stayed in a situation for so long when it made me so unhappy and believe me I tried every tactic to turn the situation around, but as they say it takes two to tango and there comes a time to know when to let go. I guess if I’m really honest with myself , the main reason I stayed was for money, the pension, the health and travel insurance and all the benefits that go with working for a corporate company.

The trouble is money doesn’t make us happy and the thought of doing something for the next 10 years just to get a pension that, according to forecasts wouldn’t be very much, filled me with dread. Also my Dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor when he retired so I, more than anyone, was and am aware of how important and precious life is and how we should really live and enjoy the present moment. I would rather choose happiness over money any day.

I will however miss my train journey that I take each morning with a guy that works at a large investment bank. He is happily married with 7 beautiful children. He is not the typical stereotype investment banker and is one of the nicest and kindest people I have ever met. He said that on a conference call recently his colleagues were all discussing what they did over the weekend and the majority said they bought this, or that or just worked, rather sadly not one of them mentioned their loved ones. When it was his turn to speak, he said “I spent time with my beautiful children and wife and that’s all I need”.   No more words needed. We have had many philosophical conversations in the mornings putting the world to rights but I have made a good friend and we will keep in touch.

So at last things are once again moving for me, I am no longer stagnating in a job where I wasn’t valued and will hopefully make a difference in my new role.  My advice to anyone experiencing something similar would be first to let go and then reach for the stars. Trust and be confident that things will work out, they usually do and if they don’t at least you tried and won’t say the most regretted words of “What if”.   I also know many people who have made similar life style changes and whenever I have asked them how they are and how they adapted to the change, they always say that it was the best thing that they ever did and they wished they’d made the change earlier.

I would love to hear from anyone who has had to make a big change in their life or are contemplating a lifestyle change.

 

 

 

 

Lessons Learnt

13 Monday Jul 2015

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Last week I found myself in a situation that I didn’t think could be possible in this day and age. I was on the receiving end of sheer rudeness, rudeness for a service I was paying for.

I guess over the last few decades with the introduction of health and safety, laws about what you can and can’t do or say, generally being wrapped up in cotton wool in a nanny state we’ve all had to watch how we say things and deliver our message. Even in the work place if conducting appraisals we are trained to give constructive criticism with plenty of encouragement and are told to also focus on the positive.

I’ve always secretly wondered if by not saying it as it is if we aren’t really receiving the big picture or even the truth. Anyone who knows me will know that I am straight talking and I like people to be the same with me, however, one thing I am not, and that is unkind or rude and I would never say anything that I think might hurt someone’s feelings.  Kindness costs nothing and I believe what goes around comes around – karma.

So what had me reeling last week? I found myself in a situation whereby after, when I had time to process what had been said, I might add for a service I was paying for, I felt that I had been verbally abused on a very unnecessary and personal level that was totally irrelevant. It wasn’t even criticism it was a barrage of comments that were not at all constructive to what I was doing or trying to achieve. The comments were personal and were aired in public in front of other people in what was supposed to be a learning environment.

As a result I had a confidence crisis in everything I did last week, but then I am not someone to just lie down and take anything like that so the stubborn side of my personality came through with my “I’ll show them attitude”. Now it could be that was exactly what the person was trying to achieve and was using reverse psychology and perhaps that was what was intended? The sad thing is I did not feel positive and I will never find out as I will not return and put myself in that situation again.

I believe that teaching techniques have changed since when i was at school and we have progressed in trying to get people to achieve their goals in a positive encouraging manner, with constructive criticism being used which consists of both negative and positive, there is certainly no need to tear someone apart or to get personal.

On reflection the comments I received were not just personal but they were very rude. However I didn’t want to dwell on the negativity, so I tried to let it go and that is why this week I have chosen to write about it, I might add one week later, which shows I haven’t quite yet let it go. So by sharing this experience with my readers I am now letting it go. I have chosen to ignore the way I was spoken to and have put it down to a bad experience but and this is where I have turned it around because I am sure I have learnt something from that day and although I’ve not yet realized what it is I am very sure I will look back on it and say yes it was upsetting at the time but I got something from it.

So the motto this week is to not focus on the negative and to try to find the good in all situations and to also be thoughtful in what we say and how we deliver our messages.

Also last week my Blog was one year old so I would  like to thank you for reading, commenting and following for the last year.   My Blog is being read all over the world from far flung places such as the Philippines, Brazil, Bhutan, Argentina and even Ecuador and I am truly grateful to you for reading and sharing.  It really does means a lot.

Wishing all my lovely readers a fantastic and happy week full of love and happiness.

New Paths Lead to Different Adventures

26 Monday Jan 2015

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Last week a friend told me that their son hadn’t been picked for his favoured university but had been offered a place at another very reputable university. He was naturally extremely upset but was still waiting to hear from his other choices before making a decision, all the time becoming very impatient and grumpy.

When my friend told me this story I said I was very relieved I wasn’t that age again, he asked why and I told him that I remember being in my teens and to wait for anything seemed like a lifetime, particularly when anything concerned the future. At that age you think you have it all mapped out and know exactly the road you want to take, not to mention you think you really do know it all.

With age, comes wisdom and as we grow older we realise that we were meant to take some different paths to the ones we had planned when we were younger. Certain events take over, for example, not being selected for our chosen university, so another one is selected and attended, which might lead us to get take different subjects and our dream job, or to meet the love of our life.

There are many things in our lives that don’t go according to our plans and on occasions we become stressed and upset when we are forced to take a different path and change our plans. It seems that when we cannot control an event or outcome we become uncomfortable and fearful for the unknown especially if we already had things mapped out in our minds.   It is very hard to let go and to trust that whatever happens will be the right choice for us even if a certain situation is out of our hands.

As I have matured, I take a more laid back approach to life and believe that if something doesn’t go according to plan then there is a reason for that even if I can’t see it at the time. For example, there is the house that you really want, that moment when you go and see the house and fall in love with it and you decide right there and then that you want it and make an offer. Later down the line there is a problem and the sale falls through, you’re devastated and upset because you think you’ll never find another house like it again. Then, usually just a few weeks or months later an even better house comes along and the sale process runs smoothly and you move into your dream home.   If when the sale process fell through someone said to you “don’t worry an even better one will come along” you wouldn’t have believed it at the time but I am sure there are many of my readers who have experienced this.

Sometimes things aren’t meant to be, because the powers that be have better things lined up for us, we just have to trust and believe that. I know it’s easier said than done, especially when your teenage son is distraught because he didn’t get into his chosen university but ask him in five years time after he has attended an alternative I bet he wouldn’t have changed a thing.

I think it is the fear of the unknown that can sometimes make us cling on to certain ideas and ideals of how life should be. If we have the courage to let go, to embrace and trust what life has in store for us I think we could avoid a lot of stress and upset in our lives just by going with the flow, learning to let go a bit more and not trying to control everything.

It’s good to have dreams, ideas and a clear path of where we are going but if we have to take a different turn here and there it can bring us new opportunities that we might not have even dreamt or thought possible.

I would love to hear your stories of times when you had to change your plans and something better came along.

“Don’t let what you can’t control end up controlling you”.- John D Lemme

Wishing my wonderful readers a week full of love happiness and remember the angels are guiding us.
  

Do you listen to your intuition and gut instinct?

05 Monday Jan 2015

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For the last few weeks my gut instinct has been trying very hard to communicate with me about a decision I needed to make but I chose to ignore it and kept telling myself I was being stupid and everything would be okay. I tried to rationalise my way of thinking with positive thoughts and visualisation all in an attempt to overcome the fear that was presenting itself to me but it didn’t matter how much logic I gave to the situation the outcome was still the same.

So rather than it just being a “feeling” in the early stages, I then started to feel sick to the pit of my stomach and felt nervous in almost everything I was doing, my energy levels dipped and I began to lie awake worrying. Not many things interfere with my sleep so I knew that I could no longer ignore the signals that my body was now trying to communicate loudly to me. I had to address what was causing me to feel so uncomfortable and to make a very difficult decision, but how to do this.

I sat quietly, and imagined two scenarios, one with the current situation that was causing me to become so nervous and one without. I tried to see if I could work through the current situation and thought of the many ways I could do this with all the support around me, but I still didn’t feel it was the right choice for me and still felt uneasy. I then tried the scenario with the situation removed and I immediately felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders it was then that I knew what my decision had to be.

It was not an easy decision to make and didn’t just involve me and that’s why it took me so long to really listen to my gut instinct, even though my gut instinct has never failed me before.   However once my decision had been made I felt so much better, so again my gut/intuition was giving me feedback that I was doing the right thing and had made the right choice.

Sometimes there is absolutely no logic to gut instinct, we can’t put a reason to it but we just have a feeling in the pit of our stomach. That is why we usually prefer to believe our decisions are made by our brain and logic. However, rather interestingly the enteric nervous system lies in our intestines with hundreds of millions of neurons, these neurons communicate with the brain. The clearest connection between the gut and mind is how we experience anxiety and stress. A gut instinct is when we have a reaction to a situation that we aren’t entirely happy with or are uncomfortable with.  I was becoming more and more stressed by my situation.

Also you may have heard the saying “in my heart of hearts” again, the heart has its own independent nervous system which connects to the brain. Sometimes we just know, how many times have you heard happily married couples say they “just knew” that their partner was the right one. If you ask them how they knew they will not be able to give a reason other than they just knew.

Not everyone is tuned into their intuition or are familiar with listening to what their bodies are trying to communicate but next time you are struggling with something whether it’s a difficult situation or decision to be made, sit somewhere quietly, take your time and imagine both scenarios, be aware of how your body feels at each outcome. The scenario that gives you quiet and calm is more than likely to be the right decision for you.

I would love to hear from you if you have experienced something similar, for example when you met the love of your life, or had a difficult decision to make.

Wishing my lovely readers a happy and love filled week.

The Comfort Zone

03 Monday Nov 2014

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jumping-off-cliff-quoteAs we have just recently celebrated Halloween I wanted to write about fear this week. Not the kind of fear or phobia that we might have for a large hairy spider but the type of fear that can sometime stop us from doing things e.g. a fear of flying.

I once remember excitedly telling my Mum about a horse riding and camping trip I’d planned to take in the Torres Del Paine region of Chile and instead of sharing my enthusiasm her first words were “but what if you break a leg”. To me, this was a strange comment to make and I pointed out that I could just as easily break a leg crossing the road.

If we stopped to think about all the possibilities of what may or may not go wrong in life when we wanted to embark on something new then the chances are we probably wouldn’t do anything.

So what is it that we are so afraid of and stops us from doing things? It seems that most of our fears stem from fear of failure and the unknown, both of which can be a big block for most of us. We like to keep within our comfort zones but by doing that it means we can sometimes become stuck never pushing the boundaries or trying new things. Surely it is better to have tried than not at all?

I know many people who want to do things, myself included, but are too scared and they wonder “what if”.

When we are children we have no fear, why should we?  We have our parents and other people to take care of us as we boldly explore our worlds, falling off our bikes, out of trees or diving into a swimming pool for the first time. We are totally fearless.

As we grow up and become more responsible for ourselves and others, we tend to lose our sense of adventure and begin to manifest our fears. These fears can be anything from fear of not being good enough, fear of failure, fear of letting go and being out of control, fear of being alone or abandoned or even a fear of flying. If we never face our fears they can sometimes paralyze us and can stop us living our lives to their full potential, thus foregoing our dreams and desires.   Fears can also limit our actions and our minds.

Louise Hay says that fear is a lack of trust in ourselves and because of this we don’t trust life. When we overcome our fears we are “taking a leap of faith”. The more we love and trust ourselves the more we will be supported.

We will always have fears but it’s how we choose to overcome and deal with them that counts. It’s about letting go and going with the flow.  So if you want to try a new hobby or change your job what’s stopping you?

“The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all”. Richard Branson

So my question to you is are you really living and embracing life or are there some fears that are holding you back in life?

Wishing all my readers a fearless week full of love, happiness and moving a step closer to fulfilling your dreams .

NB: Whilst drafting this week’s Blog the crash of the SpaceShipTwo happened. One of Richard Branson’s dreams has always been to develop space tourism, and referring to the accident he said “We owe it to our test pilots to find out what went wrong,” Branson said. “And once we find out what went wrong, if we can overcome it, we will make absolutely certain that the dream lives on.”