So this is my final week at my current job, the job that I have done for the last 10 years and I’ve been asked how I feel and whether I will feel sad about leaving. The answer is rather sadly that no I won’t. The feelings that I am experiencing are much more positive and I am feeling energized, excited and motivated about the future. There are new roads to be made and new adventures to be had.
It has taken me almost a year to come to this decision and it isn’t one that I reached lightly. However I knew that I wasn’t happy and my job was draining me of any zest for life. I had a new boss and I guess we didn’t get on. This then in turn had an impact on other areas in my life and I had no real enthusiasm for all the things I enjoy such as writing, catching up with friends, homeopathy and doing things that are important to me. Luckily my horses kept me sane and gave me a purpose.
I tried to make things work for a while, but I was met with negativity so I soon realized that action was needed. I did some core value exercises on myself and the main things that came out in almost all areas of my life were, friendship, happiness, flexibility and achievement. It was glaringly obvious to me that in my work life I was not achieving 3 out of 4 and this was also spilling out into my personal life. I had lost my equilibrium, which for a Libran is the Holy Grail. We don’t operate very well when our scales are unbalanced.
So what to do? I toyed with many ideas, the most drastic one was moving down to the New Forest and starting again. I just felt I had to get off the treadmill that I had found myself on. I was amazed to discover that the reason I was going to make such a drastic change was to escape the job I was so unhappy with even though in a new place I would still have to find a new one and make new friends and not only find a new home for myself but for my horses.
I hadn’t anticipated how powerful my brainstorming session would be and it was the beginning of positive change, I was of course doing Reiki on myself which is a great catalyst for getting things moving and becoming unstuck in situations.
I realized I like helping people and I was also a qualified homeopath and have been practicing on friends, family and my animals for the last 10 years. I decided to take control of my life and handed in my notice. At the same time, I also reconnected with an old acquaintance who is a CEO of a charity (http://www.raft.ac.uk) and she said she might have something for me. I went to meet with her and one of the directors and I am now really excited to report I will be joining them in July. I will write more once I have officially started with them as I am still employed by my current employer. However, I am so happy that I will be working for such a good cause that makes a huge difference to people’s lives.
So the burning question is why I stayed in a situation for so long when it made me so unhappy and believe me I tried every tactic to turn the situation around, but as they say it takes two to tango and there comes a time to know when to let go. I guess if I’m really honest with myself , the main reason I stayed was for money, the pension, the health and travel insurance and all the benefits that go with working for a corporate company.
The trouble is money doesn’t make us happy and the thought of doing something for the next 10 years just to get a pension that, according to forecasts wouldn’t be very much, filled me with dread. Also my Dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor when he retired so I, more than anyone, was and am aware of how important and precious life is and how we should really live and enjoy the present moment. I would rather choose happiness over money any day.
I will however miss my train journey that I take each morning with a guy that works at a large investment bank. He is happily married with 7 beautiful children. He is not the typical stereotype investment banker and is one of the nicest and kindest people I have ever met. He said that on a conference call recently his colleagues were all discussing what they did over the weekend and the majority said they bought this, or that or just worked, rather sadly not one of them mentioned their loved ones. When it was his turn to speak, he said “I spent time with my beautiful children and wife and that’s all I need”. No more words needed. We have had many philosophical conversations in the mornings putting the world to rights but I have made a good friend and we will keep in touch.
So at last things are once again moving for me, I am no longer stagnating in a job where I wasn’t valued and will hopefully make a difference in my new role. My advice to anyone experiencing something similar would be first to let go and then reach for the stars. Trust and be confident that things will work out, they usually do and if they don’t at least you tried and won’t say the most regretted words of “What if”. I also know many people who have made similar life style changes and whenever I have asked them how they are and how they adapted to the change, they always say that it was the best thing that they ever did and they wished they’d made the change earlier.
I would love to hear from anyone who has had to make a big change in their life or are contemplating a lifestyle change.