This is a question I like to ask because I believe it makes us think about how we choose to approach life.  I used to be a bit of both depending on what was going on in my life, however over the last few years I’ve tried to turn this around and look at my glass as always being full and I am so very grateful that I even have a glass to fill in the first place and how lucky that makes me feel.

We are lucky in so many ways but only if we stop to really think and appreciate what we have.  There are many things we can do to be positive but when things are going wrong or not as we planned we tend to get bogged down and can start to slide speedily down that slippery slope.  So this week I would like to share some thoughts and some of my ways of being that little ray of sunshine and trying to find that silver lining on every cloud.

For me, it starts in those magical moments when we first wake in the mornings.  For example, how do you choose to greet and start your day?  Is it thinking of all the things you have to try to fit in during the day and how on earth will you do it or do you linger in bed a little longer and look forward to your day?  I believe the first thoughts that we have in the mornings can set our mood for the day.

The first thing I do is smile at the thought of a fresh new day, a fresh new start and I say to myself that it’s going to be a beautiful day.  By doing this, I have already set my intention that it will be a beautiful day.  Not once do I allow myself to focus on anything negative that I might have to do, and believe me, there are usually things I’m not so keen on doing on any given day but I don’t allow them to dampen my spirits.  I bring to my mind all the good things in my life and give thanks and am truly grateful for all I have.  The most obvious one is I am grateful that I had a good night’s sleep in a lovely warm bed with a roof over my head and more importantly,  I’m thankful that I woke up and now have another day ahead of me full of possibilities.

When the trains are delayed I don’t complain and say “it’s going to be a bad day”.  I try to shrug it off, I see my fellow commuters becoming stressed and agitated but it’s outside of our control and we cannot control anything else other than our feelings and I choose to have good feelings.  In this day and age, I can make use of the any time that is spent delayed and can log on to my e-mails from my phone and start working or I can catch up on reading or even my sleep if I’ve been burning the candle at both ends.  It really isn’t the end of the world.  Yes I might arrive at work or home a little bit later than usual but so what.

In some of my previous blogs I’ve mentioned how infectious smiling can be, I try to be happy and smile throughout my day, sometimes people ask me whether I’ve been drinking because I’m showing real signs of happiness.  Isn’t it sad that people have to ask us this question when we are happy?  Shouldn’t we all strive to be happy at all times?

When I pay for my lunch or a cup of tea or coffee I am thankful that I have the money to do so and that I have something to eat, especially when there are people in this world who barely have fresh water to drink.  More importantly, I am thankful that I have a job to get up for and go to, which in turn allows me to purchase that cup of tea or coffee.

By appreciating more things we become more aware and in turn our happiness stakes are raised.

Admittedly at some point throughout our lives we will suffer loss, loss of friendships, relationships and even the loss of some of our friends and family members through death or illness but as someone once pointed out to me “this is life” and nothing is forever.   It’s how we choose to deal with it that counts.  For me, whenever I have lost someone close, especially through their passing I realise that life is so very short and we should make the most of it, but more importantly instead of complaining about things we have no influence over we should really appreciate everything whenever we can, especially things we can influence and we can influence how we choose to feel.

When I wake up each morning I choose to feel happy.  I appreciate what I have in my life, my family, friends, animals and nature.  I am truly thankful and with thankfulness comes happiness.  If every morning you can find a reason to say “yes, it’s going to be a beautiful day” and every night you find a reason to say “yes it was a beautiful day”.  Then one day, we can look back and easily say “yes it was a beautiful life”. 

Wishing all my readers a week full of positivity, love and happiness.

It now seems that many of us are spending more time at work than ever before. We are working longer hours and most of us have fast paced lives so it’s hardly surprising that we become stressed.   Tap in the word stress on a computer and any Google search will produce many lists and ways on how we can reduce stress. It seems we are all aware that we have it but we don’t know how to reduce it.

For me, one of the most obvious ways to reduce stress is by having a hobby, something that we enjoy and that allows us to forget about the daily grind and to just be in the present moment. The list of hobbies that we can do, and that are available to us, is endless but the main purpose of a hobby is that it is something we enjoy doing and it allows us to take a break from our busy schedules.

Depending on the hobbies we choose they can prove to be challenging, especially if we are learning something new, for example learning to play a musical instrument, a game of golf or learning a new language. My regular readers will know that my main passion and hobby is horse riding and I have had one of my horses for 19 years. I love that it gets me out in all weathers and even just being around horses has a calming and relaxing effect on me. It has certainly helped me when I have been going through very difficult times, especially when my parents were diagnosed with terminal illnesses.

I consider myself extremely lucky to have recently been able to buy a younger horse to bring on so when my older horse is ready to take life a little bit easier she can enjoy a happy retirement and I can still continue with my passion. As some of you may know, learning to ride this new horse has proved to be a challenge for me, but with supportive friends and a good instructor we have improved and I have even entered us into an introductory dressage test in a few weeks’ time.  I have never had any interest in dressage before apart from watching Charlotte Dujardin’s outstanding performance during the 2012 Olympics.

The test will involve me instructing my horse to perform a list of movements around the arena, joined together by transitions of walk and trot.  I have had to learn the test and whilst I can have someone read the test out to me on the day to tell me where I have to go, it’s actually far better to learn it as well.  I’ve rather enjoyed the challenge of learning the test, which I’ve learnt on paper and in my head. The experts say it’s best not to actually ride the test too many times beforehand on your horse as it may start to anticipate what comes next and the test then won’t flow so smoothly.

When we are faced with the challenge of learning something new or anticipating something that we enjoy we still experience stress but but this is a positive kind of stress known as Eustress “good stress”. This type of stress keeps us moving forward and motivated and makes us feel fulfilled. I know that when I come to ride my test in a couple of weeks’ time I will be stressed but it will be the good stress born out of the desire to do well and to complete it successfully.

When we have hobbies, assuming it isn’t a solitary one, it puts us in touch with other like-minded people and we make new friends, some even becoming close and long-term friends. So by doing the things we love and enjoy we meet like-minded people and as such we expand our social circle.

My hobbies are mainly outdoors based and they allow me thinking time away from everything else. I am much more creative when I’m outside in nature listening to the birds sing and watching the sun come up or go down. This creativity then feeds into the other hobby that I enjoy which is creative writing.

As well as relaxing us and making us happy, our hobbies can physically tire us out so when it’s time to sleep we are ready to enter into that wonderful world of slumber where we can dream and restore our mind ready to be productive for our day ahead. Hobbies are good for our mind and our body which in turn also has physical health benefits.

I would love to hear from you and what hobbies you enjoy or inspire you, especially if you have any unusual hobbies.

Wishing all my lovely readers a week filled with love and happiness and don’t forget to make time for your hobbies.

I’m not one for reality TV and talent shows and if I’m honest I can’t abide the programmes that seem to make fun out of people for viewers entertainment, but I suppose as long as there is a demand and viewers are watching the producers will keep on making the said programmes.

However, there is one programme that I must confess to watching and rather enjoying. It doesn’t make fun of the contestants and the judges are called coaches. They are encouraging and kind. I find this format so much more refreshing than judges of other programmes that are rude and make fun of contestants. So if I could sing or even hold any form of note and was brave enough I would choose to showcase my talent on the Voice.

For my many of my overseas readers, who may not be familiar with this show, the contestants enter into blind auditions to participate in a contest to be held over the coming weeks. They sing to the coaches who are facing in the opposite direction, if the coaches like what they hear they press their buzzer and their chair turns around to face the contestant. If a contestant is lucky enough to be picked by more than one coach they have to make the difficult decision of which coach to pick.

So why do I enjoy this programme? The most important thing for me is it isn’t based on appearances and it is solely the contestant’s voice.  However, the main reason I choose to watch this programme is even if a contestant isn’t chosen the coaches are never unkind and always offer kind words of encouragement and wisdom. If they do give criticism it is constructive so the singer has some good advice to take away, not to mention they have had the opportunity to perform on national TV. All the coaches are very different but one thing is clear and that is they really want to help the singers that they select for their team.

Whilst watching the show this week I realised how it compared to other reality programmes where the format is to belittle performers and to be unkind.   It doesn’t cost anyone to be kind to someone and can make a huge difference to people’s confidence when they are offered kind constructive words.

It made me reflect on how our words can affect us and our moods and those around us  and we should be careful when speaking words to others, whether they are strangers, friends or family. The way we say something can make a big difference to how we can make someone feel.

I believe wherever we can, we should be kind and offer words of encouragement, offer compliments whenever possible. It might even make a big difference to someone’s day helping turn a bad day into an okay day. I know from experience if someone gives me a compliment or if someone is kind to me it lifts my spirits no end.

We should also think about how our words will be received by others, for example if we are always complaining or in a bad mood that will no doubt reflect on the other person, especially if they are sensitive. We should also always think before we speak because once our words are spoken they cannot be retracted.  Remember the words we speak are a reflection of who we are.

I love the quote by Audrey Hepburn who said “For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”

I think if we all adopted this attitude to life the world would be a much happier place. Love and our emotions are contagious so I hope we can all collectively spread some love and happiness in the world this week.

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless.”  – Mother Teresa

*photo courtesy of Kind Campaign. 

This week as Valentine’s Day approaches I want to write about being single on Valentines Day because for some I know some this can be a big thing and a few of my single friends have been known to become very depressed just before and during Valentine’s Day.

Over the years, Valentine’s Day has become so commercialised and people, whether they are in a relationship or not feel pressure to do something and one of my friends pointed out that if you aren’t with someone you feel that it is being rammed down your face and you don’t fit in.

I wholeheartedly disagree with this line of thought. Valentine’s Day is just for one day. Admittedly, the shops start displaying red love hearts almost as soon as the New Year is upon us and cards are strategically placed on the most prominent shelves so they are the first thing you see, it’s like they are almost jumping out in front of you, but I ask myself is it really all that bad?

I am also currently happily single but I can honestly say that Valentine’s Day does not cause me any concern or discomfort. Equally, I don’t feel that I have to hide away or feel sorry for myself and here’s the reason why.

I love romance and the whole idea of falling in love and my regular readers will know that I am a half glass full type of person and I know that anything is possible at any moment in time. I keep an open mind in everything that I do and am excited by the prospect that I could meet someone and fall in love.   This could happen on a train, or a random meeting it doesn’t have to be in a conventional way. I also believe in love at first sight and I have in fact fallen in love twice in this way.

I also believe there is more chance of meeting someone and falling in love with them when we are not looking for love and are just happy doing the things that we enjoy doing. When we are happy with ourselves we will attract other like-minded people.   Like attracts like.

The beauty of being single is there is always the possibility that this can happen at any time, so long as we remain open, happy and positive. The world is full of so many opportunities, that is of course if we don’t sit at home embroidering, like the Bennett sisters, waiting for Mr Bingley or Mr Darcy to call. We do of course have to make more of an effort in today’s society especially as we are all so busy.

So whilst I might be single this Valentine’s Day there’s hope and there’s always tomorrow, next week or even next year. My point is cupid can aim his arrow at any time and when he does I will be ready and open minded.   It’s quite exciting really and in my view no reason to be depressed at all.   The key is to be open and to be happy and who knows what might happen.

Also on the occasions when I have been in a relationship during Valentine’s Day I would avoid restaurants because they were always so busy and the service was not entirely up to scratch. So I would choose to stay in and have a romantic meal or watch a romantic film but quite frankly I believe every day should be special when you are with the one you love, so why just make an extra special effort on Valentine’s Day? Why not make every day special and show your loved one how much they mean to you.

Most importantly, I look on Valentines Day as a reminder of all the love in the world, it is a chance to spread some love and happiness whether we are in a relationship or not.

So whether you are single or in the most wonderful relationship in the world, I would love to hear how you plan to spend Valentine’s Day and what it means to you but whatever your status is, remember to spread a little love and happiness.

Wishing my lovely readers, whether single, married or in a couple a very Happy Valentine’s Day.

Last week I went to see the Theory of Everything, the film about Stephen Hawking, and whilst it can’t be described as a feel good movie, it was a story about love,sheer determination and dedication.

On discovering Stephen’s diagnosis and prognosis, his girlfriend Jane who became his first wife tells him that she loves him and will not just go away as he demands her to do. The sheer determination in her face and voice was so powerful. At this point in the film I smiled to myself as I thought about how forcible the emotion love is. With love we believe that anything is possible. We can take on the world.

As we know there are many different types of love, there are the interpersonal relationships we have with our family, children and close friends. The love we have for our children is usually described as an unconditional love, then we have romantic love for our partners, one which is usually based on passion and falling in love, although it is said that this stage of love doesn’t last but later develops into attachment and familiarity of a different kind which is lasting. We also have love of our pets and some people have love of inanimate objects such as cars and houses.   There is the love of books, music and places all the things we enjoy. The list of things we can and do love is endless.

When I decided to start my Blog it was designed to be a happy and positive place to visit, it is about love and happiness but I don’t think anyone can ignore what is going on in the world at the current time and I can’t help thinking that in these turbulent times how the hatred is breeding more hatred. I wonder if everyone just took a step back and how different the world might if we all loved our neighbour and spread love rather than hatred.

I know it isn’t as simple as that, but when I was in my twenties I worked for Thomson Holidays which offered employees excellent training and one aspect of the course was dealing with difficult customers and their complaints. I always remember this because we were shown a video featuring John Cleese it was called “Behaviour Breeds Behaviour” and it showed an angry couple complaining about something and in true John Cleese fashion he also got angry back. As you can imagine, this did nothing to diffuse the situation, in fact it made it worse. We were then shown a second version where another actress listened to the angry couple and kept a very calm manner, this then calmed down the angry couple and a solution was then found.

Remarkably following the three days of violence in Paris last week, the world united and came together yesterday to march against violence and racism, with over 40 world leaders joining forces. Marches also took place in other French and European cities and around the world. The marches were quiet, peaceful and respectful. There is still a lot of love in the world and it is reassuring how everyone has pulled together during these violent times.

I don’t usually quote from the Bible as I want my Blog to be unbiased and reached by as many readers as possible but I found this very interesting and I think it really does sum up love rather nicely.

From the New Testament, 1st Corinthians, Chapter 13, Verses 4-7:

4. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Remember, love is free, it cannot be controlled or bought, it really is a gift so let’s use it and be kind to all we come into contact with. Everyone deserves some love in their lives.

I would love to hear from you if you have seen the film or if you have any comments about love or any of the above.

Let’s all make a conscious effort to try and spread some love and happiness, especially during these turbulent and unsettled times.