A friend recently shared a post about 11 ways to live a happier life (by Carrie Brooks – Life Coach) and she mentioned she had difficulty with No 11. Now what was Number 11 and what could possibly be so difficult for this wonderful confident friend of mine? Number 11 was:

To look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself “I Love You”.

I think that my friend is not alone and I believe that this is something we all struggle with at various stages during our life. Let’s take a brief look at some of the lyrics of a song written by Michael Masser & Linda Creed, recorded by George Benson in 1977 and later sang by Whitney Houston in 1986 – The Greatest Love of All:-

Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

So what does this mean exactly? Research says that if we don’t love or like ourselves how can we expect someone else to.

During a four years course to become a homeopath I discovered Louise Hay who is a great advocate of loving and healing yourself; she says that when we really love ourselves everything in our life works.

My take on loving yourself is, if we like and love who we are, then chances are we’ll be comfortable in our own skin. We will be confident, and in turn, that will exuberate and attract like-minded people to us and we will become a magnet. Life will be full of happiness, and we will believe that our dreams can come true. It is about being in touch with who we really are and most definitely not about being selfish or narcissistic.

Deepak Chopra mentions in his book “The Path to Love” that he has met many people waiting for “the one” to show up. The advice he gives is to BE “the one” for YOU. Like attracts like and the more we live our ideal of love, the more our light will draw another light to us.

So how can we love ourselves more? I think it helps to connect with nature and all things beautiful, doing things we enjoy doing, whether that is playing with our children, walking the dog, meeting with friends, spending time with family, taking time out for ourselves or reading a book, generally just being kind to ourselves.

So, if like most of us, you have difficulty with loving yourself, try this for two weeks and I bet you’ll be astonished at the results.

Each morning or evening, look in the mirror and while looking at your reflection say to yourself “I love you”. Remember, be kind and try not to criticize yourself. Think of all the positive things you are going to do or have done during the day.

Examples are:-

• You are beautiful
• I appreciate you
• You deserve a fantastic day

I would love to hear from you and if you have difficulty with “Number 11” and how you feel when you look in the mirror? Do you love yourself?

Loving yourself… does not mean being self-absorbed or narcissistic, or disregarding others. Rather it means welcoming yourself as the most honored guest in your own heart, a guest worthy of respect, a lovable companion.” – Margo Anand.

“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.”  ― Steve Maraboli.

Wishing all my lovely readers a perfect week full of happiness and self love.

Following on hot on the heels of last week’s Blog regarding friends I wanted to pose the question “to FB or not to FB”.

Recently a friend shared a FB post about social media titled “less technology, more hugs”. I clicked on the link to find a guy rapping about how social media is affecting everyone and how we would rather stare at our phones than talk, or skype rather than get together. He went on to say that we are so consumed by our phones and social network that we forget how to live.

Maybe you also saw it, I briefly shared it on my FB page with a comment that I was no longer going to post. This resolution didn’t even last an hour. Why? If I’m honest I don’t entirely agree. The video was thought provoking, after all I was still thinking about it a few hours later, but I actually do like using FB. It has made it possible for me to reconnect with old friends, which with our busy lives might have been difficult to do. More importantly, I am able to keep in touch with all my overseas friends and family. We are closer as a result. It means that when we do meet up, we don’t have to spend ages catching up on each other’s news but can immediately engage in conversation as we know what has been happening in each other’s lives.

I want to see pictures of friend’s children and the progress they are making, their first day at primary or secondary school and all their achievements. I enjoy seeing the happiness on my grandmother’s face when I show her photos, posted by my cousin who is based in the Philippines of her great great grandchildren. It is an absolute joy to watch.

It’s a great way to share with friends, although I do draw the line at pictures of food or pointless comments, but if something amazing is happening that I want to share what better way to reach out to all of my friends. It means you’re not just sharing with your best friends but all of your friends, building even closer relationships.

Recently an old work colleague of mine got married, before Facebook I wouldn’t have seen the wedding photos, in fact I wasn’t even in touch with her until recently, but she was able to share her special day with her old acquaintances and faraway friends. So whilst we weren’t there in person we shared in her happiness. I think this is amazing.

Another advantage is it can be a powerful tool for informing people of worthwhile causes or events. It is a great way of spreading the word. For example, Stephen Sutton, who on finding out his disease was incurable, made a FB page called “Stephen’s Story”, sadly he died in May 2014, but he raised awareness and money for the Teenage Cancer Trust and at the time of writing the fund has reached £4,394,996 and this is still rising.

For me, FB will never be a substitute for meeting or catching up in person but it’s a great way to bridge the gap especially allowing us to keep in touch with far flung friends. I have also been reunited with people that I had lost touch with, by circumstances not by choice.

I would love to hear from you as to what you use FB for or whether you have been reunited with any long lost family or friends.

 Wishing all my readers and wonderful week of love and happiness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last weekend I visited a very dear friend of mine in Belgium who at the weekend also introduced me to another friend. We all got on amazingly well, helped by the fact that we share a common interest – a love of horses and animals.

Returning on Eurostar, with plenty of time to reflect and give some thought to what I would write about in this week’s Blog, I decided to dedicate it to friends and how important they are to our happiness and well being.

Research shows that people with good friends are generally much happier, although some natural loners are happy to be without friends, most of us depend greatly on the company of our true friends.

With any relationship, friendships bring support and joy although they can at times be difficult, but that is what being good friends is all about.

As small children we have the capacity to make friends very easily, we have no prejudices, we see someone our size and engage in conversation, regardless of background, colour or religion. We only have to look at young children in a playground or on a beach to see this in action. I met one of my best friends at the age of 4 and I am pleased to say we are still very close and see each other regularly.

When we approach our teenage years, we become a little bit more self conscious and perhaps a little bit more choosy on who our friends will be, for example, do they like the same things we do, do they dress the same, do they belong in our social circle.

We then go out to work and are thrown together with people, who if it weren’t for work, we might not ordinarily have come into contact with. Again great friendships are forged in the workplace, which isn’t surprising as this is where we spend most of our working lives. I have met many of my close friends through work and have kept in touch with them even when we have both moved on.

Then of course there are the friends we meet through one’s hobbies, further education, through friends of friends and holidays. I have also made some very good friends whilst walking my dog and more recently even catching the train to work. Exes can also remain friends and I believe a few of mine are even followers of my Blog.

So what makes a friendship and good friend?   For me, it’s sharing things, having something in common, laughing and sometimes even crying together, someone who is there in our times of need and vice versa.   They do not judge and are good fun and company. Sometimes we don’t see a friend for a long time but when we get together again it’s like we only saw each other yesterday, to me that is a true friend. I can’t imagine life without my wonderful friends and I’m happy they are in my life.

Anais Nin put it beautifully when she said  “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

I would be really interested to know what a good friendship and friend is to you?

Good friends are like stars,
we don’t always see them but we know they are there.

Wishing all my wonderful readers and friends
a week filled with love and happiness.

I’ve heard so many references to the film Frozen, although I’ve still yet to watch it, but I certainly know the theme song – “Let it go”. This is thanks to proud parents holding Frozen birthday parties for their children and posting videos of them singing the theme tune. This brings me nicely on to the subject of this week’s Blog which is funnily enough about “letting go” and “going with the flow”.

So what does going with the flow mean?

As I touched on briefly in last week’s Blog we cannot control everything in our lives. Life and things are constantly changing, people come and go and circumstances change, not always by our own volition. Fortunately or unfortunately, nothing stays the same.   We are always in motion, just like the universe is always in motion, the earth, sun and moon spinning and the tides turning. Going with the flow means accepting and dealing with what life throws at us in the best way we can. There will of course be days when it will seem like the universe is conspiring against us and many things will go wrong, but if we accept this and remember that whilst we cannot control these things, in most cases, we do have the capability to rectify them or more importantly not to let them bother us. So when the water pipe freezes and bursts making us late for work or we get a puncture at least we can call someone who can come out and fix it. There is usually always a solution.

Another thing to consider when going with the flow is not to worry unnecessarily.  I know many people who worry endlessly about non-existent problems. There really is no point worrying about something that may or may not happen. I am Reiki II trained and one of the daily precepts is “Just for Today I will not worry”. If ever I am a little bit anxious about a particular problem, for example last year my 12 year old dog had to have an operation involving a general anaesthetic, which was a big worry for me due to his age. I started to worry endlessly about him not coming around after the anaesthetic and what would happen etc, my mind raced. I then stopped myself and said one of the daily precepts of “Just for Today I will not worry” and this immediately helped. I soon realised that I was worrying about something that may or may not happen. So now whenever I find myself in a situation that I’m worried or concerned about I promise myself I won’t worry about that particular problem today, then when tomorrow comes I say the same. It’s amazing how effective this method can be. Worrying is such a waste of time and energy.

Also as we learn to go with the flow and ignore the little things that normally bug us they become less important and usually fall to the wayside and as a result we become happier and more stress free.

So to conclude, as Elsa in the film Frozen demonstrates in her song, there is no point clinging to the past, which can sometimes be a great source of misery, or worse still means we never move forward. There is usually always something better around the corner that is of course if we are willing to let go. If we’re too stuck to move forward we will never experience the wonderful adventure that may just be waiting for us.

I would be interested to hear what happened when any of my readers struggled to let go of something but found life improved when they did, or worried needlessly about something that never happened.

Wishing all my readers a wonderful worry free happy love filled week

& remember to “Let it Go”.

This week as we rush around leading our busy lives I want to write about taking time to “smell the roses” and living in the here and now.

Like many, this is something I’ve not always done but I have made a conscious effort to do so in the past five years and this has had an amazing happy impact on my life.   My whole attitude and outlook to life is one of pure joy and happiness. Friends often ask why I’m so chirpy and what I’m on. Well the secret is “the joy of life, the here and now”.

Sitting on a train recently, delayed for some reason or another, I was glad of the extra time as I completed my Blog. After approximately five minutes of complete standstill, the noise in the carriage increased. People started to fidget, huffing and puffing, tapping away frantically on their i-pads, laptops and mobiles, newspapers rustled.  The delay had imposed an extra pressure on everyone, they were forced to be still.

It seems we are no longer capable of sitting still and just being. We are always looking to the next thing. It is the norm to be rushing around, multi tasking, talking on our mobiles, planning ahead, walking, texting, anything but appreciating the here and now.

I work in London, a beautiful vibrant City where we all rush around, rarely savouring the here and now. We are all too eager to get onto the next thing, be in the next place. Does anyone remember the saying “it’s not the destination it’s the journey?”

I recall someone saying to me as a child “make the most of your school days, they are the best days of your life”.  At the time I can remember thinking to myself, no they’re not and I couldn’t wait for school to end, to grow up and go out into the world to make my mark.

Now a funny thing has happened, because whenever I look back at my school days, or certain jobs, I think of them fondly and agree that they were some of the best times of my life.   However, did I really appreciate and value them at the time? If I’m honest I’m not 100% sure I did. I was always striving for the next thing, whatever that was at that moment in time.

How many times have you heard someone say, any of the following, hoping that it will lead to a better life?

“When I win the lottery; When I get married and have kids; When the kids grow up; When I’m 20/30/40/50 (delete where applicable) I’ll have; When I retire I’ll do that”

I’m not saying we shouldn’t have dreams or goals but we should take pleasure in the present time. Do you believe life will be better at some point in the future or do you show appreciation and gratitude for the present time? Are you taking time to smell the roses?   If we take time to savour the here and now life becomes so much easier and happier.   We’ll still look back on them in 5-20 years time with nostalgia and say “I loved those days” but even better if we actually appreciate them right here, right now in the present moment.

Children have this mastered.  If you watch children play they are totally in the here and now, unaware of tomorrow, they appreciate and greet every second of their day, making the most of everything.

Some of my readers are based in Jamaica, Mexico, Greece and Kenya where I believe the pace is more relaxed. I’d be intrigued to know if they appreciate the present time more or are if they are also always looking to the next thing?

Let’s take the time to “Smell the Roses” – after all, we never know what tomorrow will bring.

Yesterday’s the past, Tomorrow’s the future, But today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the Present : “Bill Keane”

Wishing all my wonderful readers a beautiful week smelling the roses.

Last week here in the Northern Hemisphere we were lucky to experience clear skies which resulted in the most spectacular “Harvest Moon”.   It was so beautiful, that I wanted to write about it in this week’s Blog. As you can see from this photo, taken by a very good friend, it was truly spectacular.

I wake early and for three mornings last week, I woke to moonbeams gently shimmering across the ceiling and lighting up the room as the moon’s light flickered through the trees. There is something very magical and special about lying in bed looking at the moon and being bathed in its silvery light.

The Harvest Moon is the full moon that occurs closest to the autumn equinox (around 23 Sept). It got its name because it appears at the time of year when farmers are completing their harvest and are reaping the rewards of all their hard work. The Harvest Moon is so bright that farmers can continue to harvest their crops well into the night. It lasts for three nights and according to NASA the Harvest Moon, and other super moons appear 14% larger and around 30% brighter than other moons throughout the year.

In the UK, schools and churches up and down the country are adorned with home grown produce as they prepare to celebrate the time of year and hold harvest festivals. This tradition started in 1843 and is the time of year when we give thanks to the land and all it has yielded. People from the communities bring in home grown produce and give it to the school or church in readiness for their harvest festival. Hamper type baskets/packs are made and then generously distributed to elderly people especially thos living on their own or those who are less fortunate.

I feel very fortunate to live in the countryside and when I am walking my dog at dawn, there is something very enchanting about seeing both the sun and moon in the sky at the same time. Not to mention, walking through the fields and orchards, inhaling the sweet smell of freshly cut hay and the fragrance of the ripe fermenting apples, all constant reminders of the land and this year’s harvest.

The Harvest Moon, for me, marks the beginning of autumn, a time of reflection. I also believe that because the year isn’t yet over any resolutions or goals made at the beginning of the year are still achievable. It is never too late.

The full moon can affect people and animals in different ways. One of my friends always knows when there is a full moon because her two cats start fighting with each other and the fur flies. Normally they are the best of friends.

I would be intrigued to know what  a full moon means to you?  Some people experience difficulty sleeping while others can feel on edge. Are you one of the people that are affected by it? Or are you the type of person that doesn’t notice anything going on in the sky above? Alternatively, would you prefer to be a migrating bird waiting for the harvest moon to appear before setting off for warmer climes?

Here’s the science bit:  The moon is 250,000 miles away and takes 27 days, seven hours, 43 minutes and 11.6 seconds to travel round the earth.   A full moon is when it is on the opposite side of the Earth from the Sun. This makes it fully visible to the naked eye.   A new moon is when it is in the same direction as the Sun and so cannot be seen at night from Earth, an alternative moon is when it is partly visible.

Until next week, wishing all my readers a Happy Love and Light filled week.

We all have a song that makes us smile or can transport us back in time. You can be doing anything and a song you’ve not heard for ages is played on the radio or plays randomly while playing songs on “shuffle” and before you know it your heart stops and you’re back in that time. I have many such songs, and the one I am listening to right now is Emeli Sandé – Read All About It. For me this brings back memories of the 2012 London Olympics when the world was united in the Olympic games.

The other day I was driving in my car and a song that I’d not heard before came on the radio. It was a powerful song and both the lyrics and voice touched me. It went straight to my heart and brought me out in goose bumps. It talked to me. I listened fervently to make sure I caught the name of the singer. I wasn’t surprised to hear it was Paulo Nutini, the singer songwriter. The song was Iron Sky from his latest album “Caustic Love”.

Someone once told me that music was the language of the universe and I couldn’t agree more. It has a way of connecting us, regardless of the language we speak. Music creates ambiance and a feel good factor and can have an extremely positive (or negative) affect on our moods. I know if I play certain music I can transport myself right back in time and can invariably remember the exact emotions I was feeling and experiencing at that time. It’s the nearest thing I know to time travel. Music helps us create powerful memories and equally can help us retrieve those exact memories many years later if we so wish. It can also remind us of someone special, family friends or a particular place.

Music has been a big part of my life ever since I was a child. I would listen to Radio Caroline under the covers every night, as I’m sure many of my readers can relate to. The only trouble is, after hearing some of the songs they played I would go into the local record shop and ask for songs that they’d never heard of. Shops only supplied songs from the Top Twenty chart, even though shops had a paper chart that showed songs placed beyond the Top Twenty.  One day after the shopkeeper and my Mum asked if I was sure I had the name right of a certain song, I insisted they referred to the paper chart and there at number 31 was the song I wanted to buy. The song, which I’m rather embarrassed to admit, was called “Sister Jane” by New World. It did finally enter the Top Twenty, although by that time I had gone off it from too much overplay on my record player.

Kym Wilde presents a radio show on Sundays called “Secret Songs” where listeners send in their request to hear their secret songs. ‘Secret Songs’, according to Magic, are those classic tracks that mean something special, they evoke memories and emotions you can attribute to certain moments in your life i.e. your first kiss, your wedding song, holiday tracks or the last dance. One of my secret songs is “Is this Love” by Whitesnake https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOJk0HW_hJw.

Anyway, back to my inspiration for this week’s Blog. I was intrigued to look up the lyrics of Paulo’s song and here are a few lines from Iron Sky. As you can see they are very powerful, and I would have to agree with him. I wonder if that’s why this song talked to my heart. It is in synergy with what I believe and ties in beautifully with the Love, Happiness and Angels Blog.

You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful,

to make this life a wonderful adventure

Let us use that power!

Let us all unite!

If you would like to share your secret song I would love to hear from you.

Have a happy love filled week.